The Driving Force Behind “Bad” Behavior– “Beliefs & Values”


Friends, how many times have you encountered a person only to leave their presence scratching your head wondering why they had behaved in a particular way in which you couldn’t quite understand or relate to? If you are like me then I’m sure it has happened to you more times than you care to remember. 

So what is the driving force behind a person’s behavior? I’m so glad you asked! A person’s belief system is the foundation for the values that they hold near and dear to their heart. And from their values, they give birth to their behavior. You don’t believe me. Keep reading……

Now before we get too deep into this discussion, please allow me to provide a disclaimer. I am NOT intentionally or unintentionally passing judgement on anyone’s behavior, as it’s not my responsibility to judge anyone. But here’s what I do know. Our beliefs determine that which we value or don’t value for that matter and based on our values we will behave a certain way in any given situation. 

Please allow me to illustrate this way of thinking to make it crystal clear. Recently, I was chatting with a friend and he shared with me that he has several male friends that cheat on their wives. Yes, I “cringed” at the thought of this too. When I asked my friend the reason his friends were engaging in this type of behavior he had no response, you see he didn’t know why they were behaving this way. I walked away from my friend that day puzzled at why his married friends, would choose to engage in cheating with no regard for their wife and children or the pain and damage that were inflicting on their entire family if their “dirty” deeds were revealed.

Then it hit me….the values of these men were affecting their behavior. Our values affect our attitude and our attitude will determine how we behave in all cases. You don’t believe me? Have you ever seen anyone with a bad attitude? How did you know they had a bad attitude? Because of the way they were behaving.  

Friends, if a man or woman for that matter does not believe that marriage is sacred then most naturally they will not value it. If a person does not value marriage, they will have a non-nonchalant attitude toward it and the end result, their behavior will reflect their attitude toward marriage.

During the time that I was married for 7 years, I never once engaged in any type of extra-marital affair, emotional or physical with any man outside of my husband. The reason? It’s not that I am so pure and holy or that a halo looms over my head. It was because my belief system determined the values that I held regarding marriage. I believed in my heart that marriage is sacred. I held the union of marriage in high-regard and I valued it. These factors determined what I would and would not do in my marriage as well as how I behaved. The stronger your beliefs, and values, the stronger your convictions regarding how you behave. #Attitude

Now, I am not passing judgement on anyone for their choices, decisions or “bad” behaviors that they engage in, because we will each individually go before God for judgement. But if your behavior  is puzzling to you as well as to those around you, then be truthful and ask yourself what do you really believe in and what do you value? #GoodVSBadBehavior

Sharon D. Meadows is a Certified Professional Transformation Coach and the Author of the Amazon Best – Seller, Journey to A New You—A Transformational Guide to Discovering Your Inner Strengths!

Please connect with Sharon, to ask her what’s the next step to get you on the Journey to a New You, Contact Me! #LetsTalk

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Posted on June 6th, by sdmeadows in Coaching.

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