“Insert” Man Here– The “Game” of Marriage


Friends, before I get started, please allow me to place a disclaimer on this discussion. Marriage is NOT a game, but some people enter into it lightly as though it were. Recently, I was having dinner with my daughter at a local neighborhood restaurant. The restaurant had an electronic device on each table to entertain customers. One of the games that were available for play was the game of “Life”. This game involves many twists and turns and decisions, but here is the deal, it’s really a game…so if you make an unfavorable decision, guess what? It doesn’t matter, cause it’s just a game! You don’t loose anything. But in real life, when you make a unfavorable decision, it can cost you EVERYTHING! Believe me when I tell you that marriage is NOT a game!

Friends, may I be transparent with you? When I married 11 years ago, I was not in love, as a matter I didn’t even love my husband. So why did I choose to marry him? He came along at a time in my life that I was ready to get married and I basically “inserted” him into my equation. Now I know I’m not the only one that has done this. I am probably the only one honest enough to admit it though. 

So what caused me to go down the road of deciding to marry a man that I did not love? I was in a bad place in life and when we find ourselves in a bad place, we are probably going to make bad decisions. As a matter of fact the likely-hood of us making a bad decision is very high because when we are not at 100% we are very vulnerable and we are open to making bad decisions.

We have all made bad decisions in life at some point. Some of us have made decisions that were more devastating than other folks but we have all been there, so it’s safe to say that we can leave our judge-yea-o-meter out of this discussion. Instead, we can put our attention and focus on what makes us fall into the trap of making a bad decision when it comes to marriage. Marriage is a serious matter, it’s a holy covenant between God, man and woman  and it should be treated as the sacred union that God intended. But many times we do not treat marriage or the decision to marry as a sacred union. 

So what would cause a normally reasonable person to make an unreasonable decision regarding whom to marry? I’m so glad you asked! Timing. In my case, I was 29 years old and my clock was ticking. I wanted to be a mother, badly. I had already spent over 10 years waiting for Mr. Right and he hadn’t arrived. I was about to turn 30, I didn’t have another 10 years to kiss frogs. So I did what any woman in my shoes would have done. I “inserted” man here and I married him. #TheGameOfMarriage

Friends, hind-sight is 20/20, what does that mean? After you have gone through an experience, you can then see perfectly, this is also known as insight. Here’s what I know. The decision to marry should never be based on timing or circumstances, otherwise you will be making a bad decision. One that you will probably regret. Just because your rent is due and you need a place to stay, is not a reason to marry. Or because you have more kids than you can handle and you need help. Or because your clock is ticking louder than the clock in your formal dining room. Or because you believe in the idea that it’s cheaper to keep her and you feel that you can do your own thing so as long as you keep home cool. #BadIdea

If you desire to live your life in a marriage of joy and peace, then marriage should be based on mutual respect, trust, loyalty, honesty, friendship, and love that you share with another person. Marriage should not be taken lightly. Who you marry will have a profound impact on the rest of your life, it is to your advantage to take your time and choose wisely.

Ask yourself are you patient enough to wait for the right one the right way? #MarriageIsNotAGame #TakeYourTime #ChooseWisely

Sharon D. Meadows is a Certified Professional Transformation Coach and the Author of the Amazon Best – Seller, Journey to A New You—A Transformational Guide to Discovering Your Inner Strengths!

Please connect with Sharon, to ask her what’s the next step to get you on the Journey to a New You, Contact Me! #LetsTalk

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Posted on August 16th, by sdmeadows in Coaching.

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