Financial Compatibility– It Can Make Or Break A Relationship….
Recently, I was chatting with a friend and shared some personal experiences with me that occurred during his divorce. He said during his divorce, his soon to be ex-wife, made several comments regarding him being controlling of their money. So I asked him point blank, if he were controlling of the money in the marriage. He responded and told me that he was a good manager of money and because he didn’t allow his ex-wife to splurge and spend all of their money and sink them deep into a financial ruin, that she felt he was “controlling” the money.
After we finished chatting, I reflected on my previous marriage, and how my ex-husband complained of the same thing, he said I was controlling the money. What my friend said, resonated with me, because I would always explain to my ex-husband that we can’t spend all that we have. Each month, we would sit down face-to-face and have the same conversation in which I would take time to explain to him that if we spend all that we have, we would potentially end up in a financial mess.
Friends, my ex-husband and I never saw eye to eye when it came to managing our finances. Prior to us getting married, we lived completely opposite lives when it came to our money mindset. I was a saver, and I believed in managing debt and credit. He on the other hand was in a financial mess when I met him, that resembled “quick-sand”, as time passed he was sinking deeper and deeper into a financial black-hole.
Prior to getting married, we never took the time to have a “heart-to-heart” regarding our views on money, spending it and managing it. We failed to take a temperature check of our financial comparability, only to later learn that we were not financially compatible at all.
Financial compatibility is important in any relationship, as it reduces the number of confrontations that the relationship will be faced with regarding money issues. It’s not just important in marriages, it’s also important in family relationships, friendships and business partnerships.
How many times have family members stopped speaking to each other because someone made a “money” decision that affected the family and the family didn’t agree with it? Or friends that are no longer friends due to a “money” disagreement? Or business partnerships that have dissolved because of “money” mismanagement? It happens, when people do not have the same beliefs regarding money, financial incompatibility is going to cause problems in the relationship.
So what do you do when you are in a relationship with someone and you are not financially compatible? You communicate with each other, as to where the break-down is occurring. You do your research and educate yourselves on good money management skills. You can also seek help from outside resources that can help ensure you and your partner share similar financial mindsets. When it comes to money matters, often times, an outside source may offer more insight into the financial break-down in the relationship and it will be easier for both partners to receive help from someone that is not directly involved in the finances.
So what do you do if you are NOT in a relationship with someone that are you are not financially compatible with and you want to keep it that way. Before entering into any type of relationship in which money will be exchanged, shared, or co-mingled, open your mouth and talk about it! Be honest in sharing your views regarding money management. Open your ears and hear what your partner has to say with regard to their money mindset. Open your eyes and observe how the other person currently handles their money situations as this will paint a good picture of what’s ahead for you when the two shall become one!
Ask yourself do you want to be in a relationship with someone that you are not compatible with in any area, especially money? #MoneyMatters
Sharon D. Meadows is a Certified Professional Transformation Coach and the Author of the Amazon Best – Seller, Journey to A New You—A Transformational Guide to Discovering Your Inner Strengths!
Please connect with Sharon, to ask her what’s the next step to get you on the Journey to a New You, Contact Me! #LetsTalk
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